It had not been a good day. The dark grey clouds overhead reflected my mood perfectly. I just needed to pick up a few more things, get through this ridiculously long checkout line and then I could finally head home, crumple into the tub and pretend the whole day didn’t happen. So when I saw them out of the corner of my eye… well, I think I may have actually whimpered out loud. I knew them from church. They were the emotionally needy type and I had never seemed to have enough patience for them. I had served alongside them for a few years up until about a year ago. I hadn’t actually seen them in a long time and I knew a conversation would be awkward at best… So, I did what any good “church-going” person would do, I picked up the first magazine I saw (I think it was Cosmo) and held it directly in front of my face, hoping and praying that they wouldn’t see me. Whether they did or not, I’ll probably never know. They left the store, I put down my guide to great sex and cut in front of an old lady to get to the next cashier. The cashier was just ringing up my receipt when I happened to look out to the parking lot. The couple was crossing over a speed bump with all of their parcels in tow and the woman tripped. I didn’t see her fall so I didn’t think much of it as I thanked the cashier and collected my bags. But as I made my way to the exit I saw that the woman had actually dropped her groceries which now lay scattered all over the pavement and her husband was flailing his arms around wildly and yelling at her. I was more than a little shocked and I noticed that a lot of people around me were too. This man, that I knew, was causing a real scene.
For a minute I considered walking back into the store with a made up list of things I forgot to buy but I just wanted to get home so badly that I didn’t even care if I’d have to walk right past them. Another man from the front of the store threatened to call the police because things were getting so out of hand. The woman just stood there, with half a carton of eggs at her feet. I could almost feel the embarrassment that flushed her cheeks. But in a split second decision I was halfway across the parking lot, avoiding the scene entirely, like some sort of Pharisee on Sunday - I had somewhere important to be! But to my utter dismay, it turned out that my car was parked directly beside their car and they were going to get there right before me. Left with no other choice I walked straight towards them. He was still yelling at her about the broken eggs but when he looked up and recognized me he stopped dead in his tracks. I could tell they were both waiting for me to say something. I, being fully aware of the crowd behind us, just cast him a disproving glare and raised my chin. I didn’t even think. I got in my car and drove away without one word.
As I pulled out of the parking lot I tried to convince myself that my actions hadn’t been quite so awful. But there was a lump (about the size of an egg) in my throat. And before I knew it there were tears spilling down my cheeks. I thought about this couple who hadn’t been to church in a long time, and who probably needed their broken eggs more than I needed anything in my bag. No my response hadn’t been awful… it had been worse. A good, non-judging person would have stopped to see if they were doing okay, or even offered to replace a few groceries. Not me. Not that day. The only thing that I did do, was ensure that he knew that I felt that he was beneath me. In that moment of truth as both of my hands clutched the steering wheel, I saw in myself someone who I was very ashamed of… How quickly we forget the judgement that has been cleared for us, when we get the opportunity to judge another.
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:3-5
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